Hyperthyroidism

Few days ago, I got my blood test results. After that I was so distraught I needed someone to comfort me. I called ten people who might be in school, telling them I needed someone to accompany me when I was silently crying out for someone to hug me and pat me.

I got rejected by ten. Some were at home, some at class, some at project meetings. None of them, other than Agnes realised my voice was a little high pitched and trembling. I knew it really wasn't their fault but I wanted to vent my frustration on somebody. Calls of concern from Agnes and Siyi made me spill tears along the Law corridor.

But I have since recovered from the trauma. So not to worry. I will be strong.

Hyperthoidism (adpated excerpts from Wikipedia)

The thyroid is one of the larger endocrine glands in the body. It is located in the neck and produces hormones, principally thyroxine (T4) and triiodothyronine (T3), that regulate the rate of metabolism and affect the growth and rate of function of many other systems in the body.

Hyperthyroidism (or "overactive thyroid gland") is the clinical syndrome caused by an excess of circulating free thyroxine (T4) or free triiodothyronine (T3), or both.

The production of thyroxine is regulated by thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH), released by the pituitary. The thyroid and thyrotropes form a negative feedback loop: TSH production is suppressed when the T4 levels are high, and vice versa. The TSH production itself is modulated by thyrotropin-releasing hormone, which is produced by the hypothalamus and secreted at an increased rate in situations such as cold (in which an accelerated metabolism would generate more heat). TSH production is blunted by somatostatin (SRIH).

Major clinical features in humans are weight loss (often accompanied by a ravenous appetite), fatigue, weakness, hyperactivity, irritability, apathy, depression, polyuria, and sweating. Additionally, patients may present with a variety of symptoms such as palpitations and arrhythmias (notably atrial fibrillation), dyspnea, loss of libido, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. In the elderly, these classical symptoms may not be present and they may present only with fatigue and weight loss leading to apathetic hyperthyroidism.

Neurological manifestations are tremor, chorea, myopathy, and periodic paralysis. Stroke of cardioembolic origin due to coexisting atrial fibrillation (SHIT. Atrial fibrillation actually gives rise to stroke!!) may be mentioned as one of the most serious complications of hyperthyroidism.

Remember the doctor suspected I had thyroid? I was sent home for more than a week of heartbeat monitoring. Turned out my pulse rate is 80 - 107 at rest, when the average girl's was 60 - 70. So I went for a blood test. The test came back positive. And very serious positive. The anxious doctor called me the next day to ask me to go for treatment when was I scheduled to meet her a week later.

For almost ten years, my condition has gone untreated. My level of TSH was extremely high stopping my body to produce enough T4, resulting in faints, racing heart, trembling hands, tremors, fatigue and abnormal metabolism. Question: Since I have been neglecting the condition for years, it won't hurt if I don't do anything now right? No. If my TSH level continue to rise out of control, it would cause my heart to beat so fast that it might suddenly stop, or simply make me lose my mind. Lucky I'm born mild tempered, else my heart would have burst from the stress of anger long ago.

An estimated two years is needed for treatment. Now, I have to eat 5 tablets a day. The doctor has given me the heavy dosage for three weeks. By then, hopefully things will be much better. But hey, don't worry and ask me to take care and think I'm going to faint any time. The medicine supposed to make eliminate my faint spells. I can play sports as always. I don't succumb to flus as always. Only drawback of the medicine is it will reduce my white blood cells. So it'll be dangerous if I cough, catch flu, develop rashes, or cut myself.

As the medicine stablises my condition, my metabolism rate will go down too. There's a high possibilty that I will have to give away my Levi's 24. This is retribution for my cockiness.

Why am I down with this condition when someone in the States won the Toto there worth USD100 million?

The Great Boy-Girl Debate

I say, "I will definitely send my baby to a boys/girls school." Mum violently protests.

Mum says:

Boys/girls school will mould boys and girls into two extremeties - boy/girl-crazy on one end, homosexual on the other end. Because of the exposure to the views of the opposite sex, both boys and girls get to see things from a wider perspective. They are more skilled in affairs of the heart because they can consult their friends of the opposite sex.

I say:

Who cares about the opposite sex - children in boys/girls school have so much more fun in school. Children in coed schools will never get to learn the art of changing in public without exposing a part of themselves. They will not get to see male teachers blush when they teach girls about the birds and bees. They will not get to feel the unity of the cohort during a stripping event. They are less likely to develop a crush on a teacher. They are less likely to need to nurse secret heartaches developed from tuition classes. They are more likely to be obsessed with their appearance in school. They mature too early. Boys and girls really should not bother about love so early. Longer, innocent childhoods will make them into happier, more cheerful adults. But I agree that children need to be exposed to the opposite sometime in their childhood. My solution - coed school for primary education; boys/girls school for secondary school.

What do you think?

一人有一个梦想

不管是希望拥有千万身家，大汽车，大洋房的商人，希望成为备受敬仰的舞蹈员，医生，或是简单地希望拥有完美的伴侣和美满的家庭，大家小时候都曾对将来抱着无限的期望。会有谁没有梦想？


我想我们的父母也一样。他们年轻的时候也一样梦想着拥有悠闲的家园，漂亮的跑车，还想要飞黄腾达和环游世界。但是，二十年后的今天，他们实现了多少愿望？

试着在一个角落望着你的父母，你可能会发现他们的脸上布满着一生的遗憾。他们曾把无法实现的梦想寄托在你身上，却只换来数不尽的失望。无法完成梦想，我想往往都是因为生命里有太多负担。家里有父母，兄弟姐妹要照顾？家里负债累累，你不能不管？家有妻小等着你来抚养？自己胆小懦弱，胸无大志？


我们现在伟大的梦想，二十年后会不会实现呢？也许，我们会和长辈们一样，步入中年，却只抱着一生的遗憾。中年危机不过就是想着自己过了大半世却一事无成，而感到沮丧。

子曰，四十而知天命。步入中年却还未实现梦想，是否唯有听天由命？我想在我们热血沸腾地追求梦想前，或许可以放慢脚步，抱抱自己的父母，让他们知道他们为我们奉献一生，而放弃梦想是值得的。

If You Cared

I got back the blood test results. It's not good. I have got two years more.

The Island The Joke

I was forced to watch it a second time during class today. It only made me remember that the whole movie is a big joke.

You know it's a Michael Bay film when you heard the exclamation, "Run!", no less than four times throughout the film, said the Straits Times when the movie was first released. I was very tickled by the statement because it made Michael Bay sound so shallow. Armageddon I enjoyed but Pearl Harbor was so shit I didn't want to watch another Bay film again. Unfortunately, I was convinced by Baby to watch The Island cos she said it was damn good.

We learn from Marketing that

Expectation"<"Actual Performance (or Perceived Value) = Satisfaction

Well, I went into the theatre with zero expectation, and still came out thinking it was shit. I just wanted to laugh at everything. Not 好笑 but 可笑. Damn I even spent $7 at Bedok Princess. It was not worth a single cent.

It has to be the worst career move for all the actors in it. Scarlett Johansson's sophistication level (thankfully acquired from Lost in Translation) hit rock bottom by acting as such a bimbo in such a commercialised film. The black guy who chased the two protagonists in the show was such a poseur. Ewan McGregor? As I watched him in the show, I could just imagine him following Ben Affleck's footsteps, ending up as a Gigglo Gigli.

The directing was outdated - overlong action sequences, aerial shots that like airline ads (contibuted by Minxiu), excessive explosions, the flowy drapes in the inevitable love scene. (Didn't Josh Harnett and Kate Beckingsale frolick amongst some drapes too?) And the unneccessary slow motion. I CAN'T stand the slow motion shots. How passe is that??

The plot, though interesting, was unconvincing. Everyone can't wait to go to The Island? Can't this supposed paradise have a more interesting name? How is it convincing that everywhere is so heavily guarded except the panels on the ceiling? I don't believe a couple will discern the ways of lovemaking during the first physical contact they have with members of the opposite sex. I also don't believe that the clone will have memories of the original. The excessive product placements in the show didn't help either.

I swear I will never watch a Michael Bay film again. Even if it's free. Just like you won't watch A Chinese Tall Story even if it's free.

By the way, its tagline on the posters is really amusing - You have been chosen. Ooo... Scary...

And speaking of taglines, nothing beats the tagline of The Cave -

Beneath Heaven

Lies Hell.

Beneath Hell lies

The Cave.

Irksome Colleagues

I don't have much time to ramble. So just to keep my page active, I decided to put up an article I wrote last July for the company I was attached to. In fact, I created the whole newsletter, but this is the one which I thought would be of interest to my friends. Perhaps it's a little cheesy. Well, I was trying to be funny. Hope it would be an interesting read for you.

*****
IRKSOME COLLEAGUES
You loathe them. You destest them. You wish to kill them. Unbearable colleagues exist everywhere. Here are some irritating colleagues* to serve as your dartboard during break today.
*Gender stereotypes not intended.

The Slacker
He sits as his desk surfing irrelevant websites. He takes frequent coffee breaks, taking forever to read the newspapers in the pantry. He flirts with the girls on the way back to his seat. Yet when you ask him to help lighten your workload, he claims that he has no time.

Because of his endless distractions at work, he can only achieve so much at work. In fact, he is so efficient that he takes hours to finish what you can do in half a day. The most infuriating is that the boss doesn't see him like this because he is expert at feigning busy.

The Highflyer
She has excellent qualifications that impress the bosses. She is so efficient that you feel like a tortoise compared to her. No matter how much work she has, she always looks immaculate. Everything she does is absolutely flawless.

The highflyer is one whom everyone loves to hate. It is probably not her fault that she performs well. In fact, you ought to be ashamed that you aren't like her, your boss says. But too bad, this is just the way you are.

The Bimbo
B-I-M-B-O. She can spell. No problem. But all else she talks about are cosmetics, her lovers and handsome movie stars. At work, she worries over minute details like the font color and alignment of the report. Although she is bubbly and sweet, she has no ambition whatsoever. You feel bored listening to her chatter.

It's not that you're not attractive, yet your male colleagues appear to fawn only over her. For all you know, she is only acting dumb. In view of the advantages she gets, it is perhaps worthwhile to behave just like her.


The Backstabber
Every morning, she greets you with a radiant smile. She appears to like you. She jokes with you. She is the regular jovial colleague whom everybody likes.

Little do you know; she watches your every move. She records the number of times you were late for work this month. She babbles little undesirable tales of you, behind you. Worst of all, she lifts your ideas and submits them before you, claiming all credit.


WATCH OUT.


The Bootlicker
You're disgusted by the sycophant. He gauffaws at all the boss' jokes. He compliments his mud brown tie with its horrendous yellow polka dots. You don't want to follow suit but you're afraid you will hence be marked down.


Unless you're prepared to behave like an obedient pet, you have to work doubly hard to gain recognition from you boss.


Alternatively, you can assume the role of the Backstabber (see The Backstabber) to get rid of him.


The Egoist
He thinks he's smart. He thinks he's special. He thinks he's eloquent.

He thinks he's slick. He thinks he's witty. He thinks he's chivalrous.

He thinks he's sauve. He thinks he's the man. He thinks he's above you.

He probably is all of the above. And there's nothing you can do to stop him from being smug about it.

The Geek
His toothy grin sends a shiver down your spine. He seems too enthusiatic about work. He hovers near your desk when you're chatting, hoping to get a word in. When he manages it, awkward silence befalls the group.

Try not to offend the geek. You'll never know what he is capable of.
*****

I have more in mind actually; e.g. The Blur Queen, The Act-blur Queen, etc... If I have the time...

Hearthrobs

After exhibiting symptoms such as feeling giddy easily, getting hungry easily, moving bowels more often than before, craving frequently for sugary foods, Baby suggested that these might mean that I had a lack of insulin in my body. That means my body does not absorb nutrients and energy well, thus resulting in the wonky faints, incessant hunger pangs, and the regular toilet visits. Lack of insulin also means - diabetes.

That disheartening statement got me into a state of panic. And I resolved to finally visit the doctor the next day. Thank goodness I don't have to pay for the school doctor because I'm sure that the need to pay a private GP would deter me from seeking consultation.

As I sat in the waiting room of the clinic, my heart started to race. What if there was really something wrong with me? What if that resulted in escalating medical bills? What will happen to me? I was going to graduate this semester; life was only beginning!

Soon it was my turn. Wringing my hands in anxiety, I faced the doctor and explained my situation. To my horror, she did not assure me that everything was okay. Instead, she frowned and asked me under what circumstances my faints occured, if my period was regular, if I had immediately family with diabetes, if I was experiecing weight loss, if my hands trembled... I knew my hands trembled slightly. I heard it was caused by anemia, which I have always assumed was my primary condition. Anemia -> Lack of blood -> Lack of oxygen to the brain -> Giddy spells. That sounded logical to me and I accepted that explanation, never thinking my condition might be much more worse.

Anyway, I straightened my arms as told and my fingers shook slightly against my will. Then she asked me to walk a few steps, one foot in front of another, heel touching toes. I didn't know what she was looking for but I obeyed. Then I was asked to lie on the bed, pulled up my clothes, including undershirt, so that she could listen to my heartbeat properly.

But I was so nervous, my heart was palpitating. The doctor couldn't accurately measure my heart beat rate. She asked me to measure it myself, in the morning and night for seven days. Baby, smart aleck, it wasn't diabetes la. The doctor was looking out for symptoms of thyroid. Which sounds equally distressing. If my heartbeat were consistently high, I would have to go for a blood test.

If the pulse rate results showed that nothing were seriously wrong with me, it would simply mean that I was blessed with high metabolism :P

Okay... so I would finally know what my wonky faints mean in seven days' time. God bless me.

Reliving The Love

Yes, yes, I'm still raving about the concert. Spent a lot of effort in finding synonyms for excited, excitement, happy... Don't read if you don't want to.

.....*.....

After almost a decade of pining, an exhausted Baby, an excited Qing and an ecstatic Xiang made their way to the SIS. The Xiang bobbed up and down in elation, saying what she expected to see in the concert, what she would like to see, to anyone who would pay attention, while the three of them were shown to their allocated seats (with a pretty good view) in the $125 section of the arena.

The stadium was buzzing with anticipation. Malay girls behind us were teasing one other about they favourite Boys. Angmohs across the stadium were parading tees that screamed, "We heart BSB!" A lone girl sat in front of us, quietly breaking her lightsticks (you know how much we miss the Boys just by this girl who attended the show without company). And I bobbed up and down in my seat, grinning widely at the Sistic staff walking towards us.

It turned out that the Sistic ticketing system accidentally duplicated tickets of our seats. A very formidable (and angry) looking woman was standing behind the Sistic guy, pressuring us to give up the seats to her and her friends. Very well, we did - for the three empty seats in the $160 section the sweet Mr Sistic offered us as compensation. What luck! Even better view!

As people streamed into the stadium, I was worried that attendance would be bad, that the response would be lukewarm, that the audience would be prim and proper in their seats.

All uncalled for. Because the moment the lights went out, all the fans in the hall screamed and jumped to their feet, waving lightsticks madly. Suddenly everyone became crazy teenagers again. And better yet, as the Boys burst onto stage, the crowd surged to the front, as much as the section barriers allowed. And that wave of enthusiasm brought us to the front as well. With the additional expert help of Baby, the Jay groupie, we were so damn near, we could see sweat glistening on their faces! I tell you, of all the concerts I have seen so far, none ever had such a fanatical crowd (in Singapore). Even A-mei's outdoor concert, the people stood up in their seats only after one-third into the show. And we, the Backstreet fans stood through the entire show. The love was all around.

Like a painful release from the years of desperate yearning, Xiang leapt up and down and screamed till her uvula trembled as her eyes brimmed with emotion. A highly amused Qing has never seen her in such a hysterical state. Actually, not many have. Not Hui, not Agnes, not Jingli, not Rudi (although he said he could imagine exactly how I behaved).

Apart from a few technical glitches whereby we couldn't hear their beautiful voices (when the avid fans happily filled in the words for them), the performance was seamless. Energetic. Bountiful of energy as they danced the newly cheorographed numbers, cunningly inserted with Larger Than Life, All I Have To Give, Backstreet's Back's classic steps). Quoting Qing, "Nick (got so fat that he) danced like a pig." Still, our love is unwavered. Soulful. Soulful ballads belted out one after another, making Xiang weep with happiness. Overwhelmed, she clutched her chest and sang dreamily with the Pig. Mischievous. Howie and Brian stepped out of the barred stage boundary to touch the fans, causing instant uproars. Close though we were, we were not close enough! Wacky. Crazy Nick rolled on the floor while strumming the electric guitar. How adorable~

My eyes were fixed on my one and only almost thoughout the show. Pudgy, yes. Swollen, yes. Cute, yes. Lovely, yes! As he serenaded me, my soul detached itself from my body, reaching out to kiss him. It was ecstasy, I think. It was!

Nick Carter, I wanna marry you. I do, I do!

No gimmick. No encore. But still amazing. 48 hours after the concert, Xiang is still grinning from ear to ear from the memories of the night.


"You know it's true love when you still love a fat Nick Carter." - Qing

Just For Joanne Babe

My dear, I only just saw your message. Well, we're still waiting for the reimbursement. *drumming fingers* Mr Dawne Seah, we're waiting...

So many things are happening, but I can't share them with you :( Come back quick! I miss you loads. Have a really heartwarming CNY there ok? Don't miss home too much. And I must say again - don't come back three times your size, like you-know-who!

When You Fall In Love

You look forward to every moment with him
You feel contented just by thinking of him yet
Your heart aches with desperate longing when you don’t see him
You feel supreme happiness when you do
You don't care that his good looks has gone to the dumps
You look up to him in absolute admiration
You get lost in his eyes as he serenades you
You pull him to his feet when he falters

You are not willing to share him any other people

When You Fall In Love With The BSB...

(all over again)

You bounce in your seat in great anticipation while waiting for them to appear
You smile to yourself whenever you think of them yet
Your heart almost explodes with painful yearning during the years of waiting
You feel supreme bliss when you see them
You jump to your feet, like the rest of the crowd, when they burst onto stage, regardless of the less enthusiastic people behind you
You wave energetically for two whole hours hoping they will catch a glimpse of you
You don’t care that they have aged, or ballooned
You look up at them and scream uncontrollably
You sing your heart out along with them
You feel your soul detaching from your body as they serenade you
You shout your lungs out and fill in the words of the song when they failed to project their voices because of technical glitches

You want to share them with other people, the more the better

And finally, you just feel like you're going crazy before, during and after the show.

OMG! I so want to relive the concert!

I was so near, I could see sweat trickling down their foreheads. The arena was already buzzing with love and excitement before the show. Girls and boys bouncing in their seats in excitement and talking about their fave Backstreet Boy. Imagine the uproar when they appeared. So great is my love for the boys, I'm still smiling when I think of them and their fantabulous performance. No gimmicks. No encore. But still amazing.

Oei!

Why no one else defended me against Anonymous?!? Is it because you are like him, who can't see a joke even if it danced in front of him dressed in a tea cosy? ROAR!!

A Bride's Greatest Nightmare

If she invited me to her wedding celebration, that is.

For the past two years, I attended three weddings of my cousins, and was part of the jie-mei tuan for the first two. Another of my cousins warned me not to take part in so many for it was believed that a girl who took part in more than three wedding jie-mei tuans, would stay a spinster for the rest of her life.

Well, I can't be bothered about her old wives' tale. I have so many jie-meis, I can't possibly not take part in all their wedding celebrations in the future, even if I were married before them. There's no harm in helping my cousins once or twice, since I must be part of the jie-mei tuans for all seven of my jie-meis and Baby (and maybe other close friends too, like Qing, Jo and Agnes). I'm destined to be single either way, why not accept some fat hongbaos while I can.

Ever since I acquired the skill and intuition to look nice, I made effort to shine in weddings. That was three weddings ago. I would prepare two outfits for the morning tea ceremony and the dinner in the evening. I don't like the Singapore custom of treating a wedding dinner like CNY visits. I prefer it to be much more formal than that. (For my wedding dinner, if I ever got to hold one, the dress code will be cocktail formal.) To look presentable, I even sourced dresses from my friends. And thought of setting my hair at the hair salon, although I never did.

Once I made the effort, there was no chance the bride would look better than me. But hey, don't you know it feels so good to have someone tell you, "你好靓。" I must declare that I did not intend to look better. At least not wholeheartedly. I say it was the brides' fault for not looking prettier than me.

Jingli said I would get retribution for harbouring such an evil intention. Actually, it has been my lifelong ambition to outshine all my cousins. I don't know why. Academic-wise, which hasn't taken much effort, too.

Well, the target is my cousins, not you ok. So don't worry, Hui, that I will look nicer than you. I'm sure your radiance alone on your wedding day will outshine me ten feet away.

Shopaholic Outdone

So many things happened to me these weeks, I can't decide whether I'm ill-fated or blessed. Unlucky - Almost got knocked down by car. Can't get modules cos I overlooked the available time slots. Almost lost my wallet. Lucky - Good shopping deals. Didn't get hurt by the car. Overwhelming mahjong luck. Additional source of income. Found my wallet.

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that admist the crazy shopping for CNY clothes, it was great buys bonanza! I bought an outfit for each of the three days of CNY holidays. And additional finds from G2000 low-cut sale. And a bag for school. And yet another two pairs of shoes. And T-shirts for lazy Sundays. Oops.

To date, this is most expensive piece of apparel I own - $99. Bought to attend my cousin's wedding.

Followed by the gold long skirt, from Miss Selfridge, I bought for JC prom. Also $99.

Then I tailored a dress for no apparent reason - $95. Antics of a shopaholic - just like to own pretty stuff. Coincidentally, I got to wear it to two balls soon after the dress was ready. This is the only picture with me in the dress. Stupid of me not to take more (I need a camera!!) when it looked so fabulous, and when I looked so fabulous too :P

It looks like this. Has a big yellow satin bow at the back. My mum complained of the low neckline.

Usually, when I see something I like, I will not buy it immediately. Because it's too expensive. Because my friends and mother hover behind me and tell me not to waste money. But when I get home, I will keep thinking about it, knowing that I can't wait till sale period (my size is usually sold out during sales). I will toss and turn in bed, so anxious that if I go to buy it another time, it will be gone. That's when I know, I must get it no matter what the price is.

For instance, I have a pair of Kickers loafers that I yearned for so much that I didn't mind buying a size smaller since my size was sold out. The shoes were $70. Another pair, Vivi silver heels, only took me a week of contemplation. Guess what, it was sold for half price six months later when I bought it for $60. The skirt in the picture from Paragon below cost $60.

Recently, I got a soft spot for dresses. I thoroughly surprised when I outdid myself by splurging on one - $124. I thought I will not buy it when it caught my attention two weeks ago. But who can help it when the urge to buy suddenly hit so strongly in the morning that you decided to go to town to get it in between classes. (Stupidly, I left my wallet in school and made a wasted trip that 2-hour break. Yeah, I almost lost my wallet. It made me think that it was not meant to be.)

It's not even an evening gown. But it's really pretty! Just a sunday dress for yam cha and high tea. It's from GG<5.>

Which brings to to plan for CNY. Dear friends, I will be free after the morning of 大年初二. Take me out. Let me join you and your friends. It doesn't matter that I don't know them. Be it a mahjong game or a karaoke session, just let me accompany you. Show me off to your friends. Remember, I have pretty dresses. *stupid bimbo*

Menopausal?

And so, Baby and I reluctantly attended the retreat-cum-workshop for the staff and members. Surprisingly, it was not as boring as we thought it would be. I learnt about the scientific analysis of my personality (again!) and team dynamics (again!).

Luckily, the participants today were a jovial lot. Man, it made the facilitator earn easy money. Heard he pocketed $3000 for the 3- hour course. It was supposed to be 5 hours but was cut short due to their procrastination and an incident which I am about to narrate.

Towards the end of the workshop, when groups were animatedly discussing ways to attract new members, a member reached, very apologetic for being late. Shortly, she received a call that announced the arrival of our VIP, and she made to welcome him when another member said, "No no, the chairperson should go."

The chairman went, leaving the first member behind, unhappy and mumbling, "It's not that I want to go."

Unprovoked (I think), the latter raised her voice, "What did I say? What did I say? I didn't do anything wrong!" The other replied with the exact same words, in the exact same tone.

Suddenly, in the middle of the shouting match, one of them threw the paper she was holding in her hand onto the floor and started screaming, with screams that pierced through the chalet walls. Then the other dropping to her knees on the kitchen floor, screamed even louder and pounded her chest in fury.

The rest of us dropped our jaws in amazement. What the f*** just happened?? Even eye-witnesses could not identify the reason that sparked off the weird quarrel. What was there to be so angry (crazy) about?? Poor Baby was stunned to tears.

One thing was evident: the whole organisation was greatly divided. Everyone took sides even though they had no idea what was going on.

It took the VIP to settle the non-dispute. Strangely, the two women were joking and sharing mahjong money 3 hours lately. Weird - middle aged women and their menopause.

On The Roll!

Was the big winner for 3 consecutive mahjong games. And winnings doubled from each previous time. Lalalala... I have a winning formula that I'm not gonna tell~

Warning to all seasoned players - Do not look down on amateurs. Do not neglect the power of Lady Luck. AND do not voice out your contempt for beginners.

Because. You will lose like hell, to the greenhorn, whom you blatantly said to, "Play with me. I wanna win your easy money," before the game. AND you will be the biggest loser.

All Hail The Future Minister

The future minister, is yours truly. For those who don't already know, I work at the grassroot organisation of my neighbourhood, part time, for 1.5 years already. Since I'm graduating this semester, I have given my options a lot of thought. It struck me that since I have connections, playing a part in governing our nation sounds pretty enticing.

Over the months, I have witnessed a number political upheavals in the committee and was the victim of several infuriating incidents in which I was maligned (I will narrate a few anecdotes in the future).

Well, rising to political success is a herculean task. I will need to be approachable, helpful and enthusiastic, whether I like it or not. Working with a bunch of ineffectual seniors who are not united is drudgery. But I must slave through it. As much as I am unwilling, I'm going to join the committee of old fogeys in team bonding, a special activity for all the members. with a forced smile and faked enthusiasm tomorrow. Especially when the mayor is going - to be successful, we need to pull some strings eh.

I don't need to aspire to be hottest auntie blogger anymore. Me gonna be hottest politician / MP / minister / prime minister. Make way, Eunice Olsen!

The Best Way To Lose Weight

According to Bridget Jones, it's sex. I suppose the R&D inventors of a certain healthcare products company very much agreed with her. That is why they (or the comapny they copied the idea from) came up with a new eqipment that would simulate the activity.

I'm not sure if you noticed the ad. It's funny to see exhilarated ladies whooped while riding it.

Well, the equipment is designed to resemble a horse back and it moves up-and-down, back-and forth rhythmically, not unlike the motion of copulation. (I'm not sure of the equipment's exact name. Only remembered that Madonna rode it in her American Life MTV and Cameron Diaz rode it in Charlie's Angels Full Throttle.)

The comapny claims that the equipment can help you lose up to 6 kg in 90 days, for just a mere $998. Well guys, why don't we all just stick to Bridget Jones' way instead?

Oh I was searching for the price of it when I realised this equipment and its ad has provoked quite a lot of discussion in blogs and forums. *sniggers*

HA HA HA HA HA HA

Remembered once, (albeit a short moment) Tan Gek Leng believed me to be gay.

Jus bcos I was not respondin to his fren's advances affections.

Dear Gek Leng, you were jus not familiar with de way females think.

When they say no determinedly, ok... They really mean NO!

But when they say no gently, they are actually hoping to get you to try again.

Don't you know little girls jus like to play hard to get?

Okay... failed attempt to imitate Gek Leng's writing.

Once Upon A December

What a beautiful song. Lyrical yet sad... Remember watching the movie with Phyllis, Poffy and who? years ago. Everyone loves the movie theme song. So do I. But this is still my favourite.

Dancing bears, painted wings

Things I almost remember
And a song someone sings

Once upon a December.

I thought of the song while I looked back on my December. Yes, this was my December. Lonely and forgotten.

Yes, it was my birthday month but I didn't feel as happy as I thought I would be. Admist the birthday, wedding and festive parties and celebrations, I sat in the middle of the room. Lost and unnoticed.

You think I like to party, don't you? No, I like intimate, heart-to-heart sessions more. I prefer to sit by the fireplace, with a few soulmates, talking, joking, sharing, to raucous parties, where I don't know two-thirds of the guests. I had such a heartwarming gathering the week before Christmas with Joanne and gang. We sat in TCC, talking about our future (next semester, specifically - Jo was going to Texas for exchange for a whole 6 months. I'm gonna miss her so).

As we stepped out of the cafe, I suddenly thought I didn't want the night to end. I must have fallen in love with my uni friends. Well, I'm happy to believe that we are going to stay as friends for a very long time.

And thank you to the three dears who people-watched with me at Parkway Starbucks one Saturday, shopped with me at Borders on Christmas night, and splashed with me in Wild Wild Wet on New Year's eve. Yes, yes, I have become a shade darker despite my constant battle against the fierce sun.

But other than these, I was left alone, to stare at the TV blankly, to slowly understand that no one really wanted to spend Christmas with me.

As my eyes filled with tears, I saw all of my friends floating around me, light and transparent. They seemed to be with me, but they were not. Nonetheless, they at least heard me when I asked them, "Who do you want to spend your Christmas with most?"

And they replied, one by one.

Said Tay, "Church"
Said Sue, "Church"
Said Sushi: "Church"
Said Poffy: "Church and boyfriend"
Said Hui Ding: "Boyfriend"
Said Nian Fen: "Boyfriend"
Said Serene, "Boyfriend"
Said Peiwen, "Boyfriend"
Said Jo, "Church and Prince Charming"
Said Wanqing, "Girl friends"
Said Siyi, "Girl friends"
Said Dewei, "Girlfriend"
Said Ong Hui, "Family"
Said Agnes, "Family"
Said Yuneng, "Boon and gang"
Said Jing Li, "Whoever asks me first"

Then he kissed me on the forehead and dissolved into nothingness, like all the rest before him.

That was too much for my heart to take. It floated out if my body and hovered for a while, as if to say goodbye. Then, without warning, it dropped to the ground and shattered into a million pieces. I stood stunned, never knowing that it would hurt so much to know that I was special to no one.

Once upon a December,

Someone holds me safe and warm
Horses prance through the silver storm
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory...

The Girl, The Waves And The Beach

(Edited 29/12/05)

The little girl sits on the beach,

Watching the waves run in and out.

Gently.

Lovingly.

The sand and the sea play with her,

Running through her hair,

Trickling through her toes.

Warmly.

Ticklishly.

One day, the waves run out.

And don't come back for a very long time.

The girl waits.

Anxiously.

Anxiously.

Finally, after touching all corners of the world,

The waves roll back.

Towering.

Crashing.

It turns the girl's lovely beach

Into quick, running sand.

She gets stuck in it.

Defiantly.

Willingly.

She will not admit her beloved beach

Has become revolting, slurry mud.

She will not leave it.

Sadly.

Foolishly.

But staying in the wet sand is perilous.

The little girl's skin becomes an old woman's skin.

Dirty.

Wrinkly.

She realises she cannot stay in the quicksand anymore.

She pulls herself up.

Strongly.

Resolutely.

At last, she gets out, panting and scratched.

She crawls to the grass yonder

And waits.

Patiently.

Patiently.

For the quicksand to dry up one day.

For it to become her dear beach once more.

Without effort, she gets out, panting and scratched.

She looks at the beach

Before trudging up the slope.

Reluctantly.

Resolutely.

For a better past time.

For a more enriching life.

Freely.

Happily.

Birthday Dinner With The Girls

Birthday dinner with the girls, 9/12/05 at Rendevous Hotel. I, or rather, my mum treated them to buffet dinner.

OK, we were too vain. Look at Serene.

They weren't very subtle about the "surprise". To assist them in the execution of it, I excused myself to the bathroom. And ta-dah, a slice of cake from Rendevous.

Still, I am very happy. I wished for world peace.

I got a skimpy piece of bra, hot-pink colour and laced. Makes me look like a striper.

The many faces of Chowchow...

Cute

Glam

Demure

Posh

Cool

Sexy

Cheeky

Filial
(Doesn't Hui look like my mummy?)

Sorry. zi lian to the max.

Love them to bits. They wanted to give me a surprise visit the next day, on my actual birthday. I'm so sorry I couldn't be contacted then... Muacks!

Can Anyone Else Be Any Chio-er?

Wa lao, so darn pretty! See I pale so much in comparison. On this month's FHM cover. I feel like buying the magazine lei.

She is how chio can. I also wanna be discovered by some reporter or showbiz personnel to sign me to MTV simply through my blog. I also wanna appear on this month's FHM cover with my name in caps and ending in an exclamation mark. I also wanna drive an SLK in the US. I also wanna be hailed as Singapore hottest blogger or hottest whatever. I also wanna create controversy wherever I appear.

So I will take more pretty pictures. I will upload them religiously. Maybe I should go for surgery too. Everyone, please me link me so that more people can access to my page. So that there is a higher chance of a talent scout stumbling upon here and declares that he has made the best discovery of the year.

Can I Be Any Chio-er?

A few birthday pictures. No time to write. But can't wait to show the pics. There'll be more. Watch this space.

Into The Trash

Showoff! has been removed because it's gibberish. That's what you can expect from me at 2am. I was exhausted but couldn't get to sleep because stupid Baby woke me up asking a question that could be asked in the morning.

Now, I'm a little more clear-headed, the post looked stupid. You know I don't wanna boast about my Levi's. You know I want lots of babies, not. So, the post is a piece of trash. Into the bin it goes.

My Retribution

I have been bogged down by fever since Tuesday night after a walk in the rain. And my temperature is still fluctuating. This must be because of a sinful something that I did a few days ago. (To know what it is, ask me personally. It's not safe to publish it here.) For a moment I thought I caught the chicken pox because I was in contact with an object that belonged to a chicken pox patient. Of course I know this is unlikely, since chicken pox is transmitted through the air.

Because of the sin I committed, I was doomed to two whole days (and counting...) of suffering. Two days may not sound a lot to you but it is unbearable for me. Cos my fever attacks usually only lasted for half a day each in the past. This time, I was left to moan and perspire in misery even after I drank lots of water and ate Panodol. A sore patch also developed on the right side of my throat, making it painful for me to swallow even saliva.

I sincerely wanted to go to work today because I didn't want to leave my responsibilties to my groupmates again. Although I was slightly better today, I was still too weak to pick up myself. However, in the afternoon, I went to TM to watch King Kong despite feeling a little giddy. I couldn't bear to reject my partner because he was so looking forward to it that he was "dying" and answered every SMS with exclamation marks.

King Kong, of course, is a must watch - proclaimed to be an "epic" by my partner. Great sets, exceptional CGI, beautiful cast (dunno why Adrien Brody was playing the hero though), nail-biting adventure and heartbreaking drama. Here I was, anxiously sitting on the edge of my seat while he was on my right sniffing with emotion.

Halfway through the show, I whispered that Naomi Watts had very long legs when he... he... he said that my breath smelled!! I admit it actually because I could feel it myself. The breath in my mouth is especially thick. My breath doesn't usually smell! It was because of my fever and sore throat! So I kept my mouth to myself for the rest of the show. And after the show, he quickly ran to get me some mints!

Perhaps I was punished for running outside when I'm supposed to be resting at home, I started to feel very unwell again shortly after the movie. And I had to wobble my way back under the ruthless sun.

Back To Old School (Kinky meh?)

Partygirl has been invited to a Xmas party.

It's the annual Bizad Xmas bash. Like last year, it'll will be at Chinablack. Like last year, it's $15 for a drink. Like last year, there will be a show at 10pm. Unlike last year, however, there is a specific theme. It's known as Back To Old School. What does it mean? I also dunno. But the dress code for the night seems to explain enough. Dress code for the night: Retro or........ School uniform!! Isn't it exciting? I'm gonna be a-lian TKGian. Skirt short short. Shirt not buttoned. Hair funky funky.

Calling all TKGians, Cedarians, Dumanians, Victorians, TJCians, Marists, Saints, Rafflesians etc... I'm a Partygirl. I know how to let down my hair. Join me! Heheh.

I'm not promoting it for the sake of driving sales hor. I'm not involved in it. In fact, I didn't even plan to go... Until the dress code was revealed. OMG, I think our discipline masters are going to scream if they see us. I'm inviting you cos I would like more company. I'm not going alone. It'll be sianz to do that. Join me. Join me.

Backstreet's Baaack!!!!!

Just last week, I was grumbling that I didn't get to watch David Tao's concert. Now I'm glad I didn't cos I need the money for the BSB concert on 24 Jan in SIS! I can't decide which is more exciting: BSB concert in SIS, or it's on 24 Jan, so I bold the whole phrase :D

I have been bursting to announce this to those who don't know yet, but I didn't have time. Let me repeat: The Backstreet Boys are coming to Singapore for a concert on 24 Jan 2006! Thanks to our TV station's Star Awards, I saw the ad on TV! Thanks Serene, for informing me too. Yes, I watch the Star Awards almost every year. Not to see who won la. But to see their outfits, especially prettiful Fann's~ Interestingly, Cynthia Koh was wearing the very dress, from BCBG, that I decided to send to a tailor to make as soon as I have enough money just the afternoon before the show. (For those who don't know, I make dresses for the fun of it. Cos I like pretty dresses. I just started this hobby a few months ago and I'm gonna make more!)

Spit it out. Who knew about the concert before I did BUT never told me?? Don't let me find out.

Sorry, if you are interested to go with me. Because I have already bought the tickets the moment the Star Awards end. I was sad to know that booking commenced 3 days before, and many seats have been taken up already. But happily, the seat that we booked still wasn't too bad.

Love for the BSB did not start when they first exploded into the scene. When my P6 angmoh-ish classmates were listening to them, I scorned at them. You think you listen to English songs very cool meh? No lor, you're just don't want to admit that you are lousy in Chinese.

I only got interested in them during a Sec2 class gathering. We were gathered at Mindy's house to watch the premiere of the Backstreet Boys' Homecoming Concert on HBO. Don't you know, watching a concert can make you fall in love with the perfomer(s)? And so, I fell in love. Head-over-heels.

I don't care that Rudi calls them the Backstreet Men. I don't care that Brian and Kevin got married. It's Nick that I want =P I don't care that Baby thinks they sing like girls. I don't care that Nick has put on pounds. And I don't care that Baby ridicules his flabs. In fact, I like him better that way. [Side note: I noticed that 孟哲 is the Nick Carter of 5566. He is also the baby of the group. He also ballooned after a few years :D]I don't care that AJ was addicted to drugs. Fans, like family, do not abandon you when you are down. Love is about loving everything, flaws and all. I don't care that Nick was once in love with Paris Hilton. Who isn't in love with her?

Well, because I like them only after 2 years they started, I missed watching them when they came to Singapore. Yes, they came to Singapore once in 1997! I waited and waited for their arrival. I once answered a survey that I would like BSB to come perform the most, hoping with all my heart that my answer would mean something to the organiser. I even swore that I would travel to KL to watch if they chose to perform there instead. But I didn't know about it till it was shown on TV. Haha. Aiyah, that performance wasn't important because it was a concert by various artists.

So, I continued to wait and wait, buying their new albums on the first day it was distributed. (I bought Black & Blue while the sales assistants were still unwrapping the CDs from their boxes!) I love every song. I learn them all by heart. Even the music and yeahs and ohs.

And I waited and waited. And after a long-awaited 5 years, they are finally coming back. And I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I'm feeling breathless and so excited that I wanna scream. The wait is even more torturous than waiting for The Half-Blood Prince and The Goblet of Fire.

It's no fun attending the show with non-fans. So I'm going with Wanqing and Baby! I think I'm gonna cry at the concert.

Gawd. Can you believe that I'm turning 21?

Hongkee Wannabes

Suddenly, we are overwhelmed by an influx of self-proclaimed "authentic" Hong Kong cafes. On the surface, their menus look quite convincing, with 奶茶、西多士、番茄鸡排饭、牛肉意粉、菠萝（叉烧）包 and so on. But, to those who know, the food pretty much sucks. The food are actually acceptable on its on. It only sucks when it labels itself as a dish from an "authentic" Hong Kong cafe. I was horrified to hear people getting all excited about a new "Hong Kong cafe" in Singapore. And I got seriously alarmed when people started praising its "novel" dishes.

Everytime I heard of a similar cafe opening, I will try it eagerly, hoping to finally have found a real cafe that sells edible memories from my (dad's) hometown. Everytime I do that with great expectations, I will be disappointed.

I tried the one at East Coast Road. My father was very excited about its opening because the only one of such a cafe was Crystal Jade Kitchen. But, it disappinted us. Its 奶茶 was appalling, too sweet. Its 番茄牛肉饭 was too salty and it has too little meat to go with the rice. Its 菠萝包 looked totally unappetising. I haven't tried its French Toast though. I won't be able to because we decided not to eat there again. I also added to myself, I will discourage people from dining there. Unfortunately, within months, it expanded two-fold, even installed with a huge plasma TV which shows ESPN.

Shortly after, another one opened in the basement of Taka. We went, hoping that its food would be as good as its name. But, its 牛肉面 was bad. Its sandwich was dry and tasteless and the food was served in stingy amounts.

From then on, my dad and I decided that Crystal Jade will always be the best. Crystal Jade's high-tea menu offers 火腿通心粉 and 奶茶 and a few more Hongkee dishes. It also serves good dim sum in the morning too. The Crystal Jade branch with the best dim sum is the one on the 5th floor of Taka, known as Crystal Jade Palace.

I'm writing in white again cos i'm stupid.

Recently, it opened a cafe, C-Jade Express (or something like that). I haven't tried it but I am pleasantly surprised at its similarity with a Hong Kong chinese fast food chain, 大家乐 and others. Although Gerald said that the goose sandwich was bad (too dry and hard), I still can't wait to try it! I hope it sells 双皮敦奶.

I'm writing in white again cos i'm stupid.

The Australian Dairy at Jordan serves the best 双皮敦奶 in Hong Kong. Try it when you go there. By the way, it may be called Australian Dairy, but it is actually a Hong Kong cafe.

Anyway, anymore of such cafes that I haven't tried? Let me know. It better live up to my tastes. And I just discovered that there is a very big "Hong Kong cafe" in Kovan. A building on its on! Maybe Wanqing wants to try it with me? But I bet we will ultimately stick with Crystal Jade.

'Tis A Season To Be Jolly

Bet you are invited to loads of parties this month. You can't wait to go, to dress up, to eat the good food, to dance your head off, to party till dawn But you are hesitating... because you don't have a date? No fret cos now there is the absolute solution for you! Introducing the perfect date....

Melody Chow

A new product from Mattelo, this life-size robot is made to be the perfect date. Melody is programmed to behave the way you want her to. She can be adorable, sweet, cool, intellectual, catty, gentle and more! Matello's latest technology allows her to move fluidly, exactly like a real girl. In fact, her whole body is made of Cellutine, with has almost the same texture and feel of a actual person.

Melody's available for rent at a festive price for $98 a date! Don't miss anymore parties! Date Melody today*!

*Terms and conditions apply

Satisfied clients say:

"(Melody) is interesting to watch. She is so exuberant!"

"She is able to strike up intelligent conversations, a skill that is found so rarely in females nowadays. I'm proud to take her to parties."

"I love Mel(ody)'s many different looks, especially the Sailormoon costume when I brought her to Halloween Party."

Superficial Or Not?

Do not try to matchmake me if the guy does not resemble any of the above good lookers. Don't say looks don't matter because that's bullsh*t. You won't want your friends wondering behind your back why you made such a (bad) choice, will you? According to my sister, ugly people don't look ugly because they are born so. They are ugly because they have an ugly heart. To a certain extent, the silly girl has made a (rare) wise statement. From the people I know, I see that unattractive people tend to behave in annoying ways. They make me not want to be associated with them, not simply they are unattractive. So, I insist that I am not a superficial girl.

Why? Because I'm afraid that people will criticise my beau behind my back. I have a cousin whose husband is an overweight, bespectacled man. He has tiny, shifty eyes and pespires excessively. He tries to impress the aunties by giving unnecessary praises and makes inappropriate comments. He gauffaws loudly at his own jokes. My parents and relatives will express dislike behind his back and sometimes make unkind comments. You won't like that, will you? You will look bad because you have "bad taste", as they say.

But if he is so charming that he can charm the pants off my parents, friends and relatives, it won't matter that he's not good looking. Someone like David Tao. Hmm... Actually, I think I meant that if he's lovable, his charm will naturally make him look good. A more down-to-earth example will be Dewei or Yuneng. Minxiu is a good example too =D

On the other hand, if he doesn't give a hoot to my parents, friends, and relatives, but is irresistably playful and romantic, I will throw away everything else and elope with him. If he is boyish like Nick Carter or Justin Timberlake (omg), I will let him kiss me for as long as he wants, like this -

And I like the type of girl...

...The type of girl that'll let me hold her hand
And then kiss her
The type that'll let me take her to the movies
And then kiss her
The type that'll let me hold her sooo tight
And then kiss her, and kiss her
And kiss her, and kiss her...

- All I Have To Give (Conversation Mix)

*swoons*

Haha. Fineee. I'm superficial after all. You know I have a crush on someone who I think is good-looking, charming and mischievous. Oooh, I like...

*****

FYI, different friends are already getting me the CD, the book and the watch. Thankew~~

一失足成千古恨

How very true.

I must declare that government exams do not always reflect your true potential. When I got my 'A' Level results from Mr Bala, he told me, "Not bad. But your GP is er... unexpected."

Do you remember what I got? Yar, a C5. A bloody C5!!!

I don't deserve it at all. Even Mr Bala said the worst he expected me to get it B3. But you all agree that "O' and 'A' Level results don't matter much in your later lives? I don't!!!

Because I floundered in one exam, which happened to be the one that dictated my future, I could not take translation courses in NUS, something I was interested in. The minimum GP result to qualify for the course was B4. Because I failed to get a decent result, I was despised by tuition centres when I expressed that I didn't mind teaching English. Hello? I got A1 for 'O' Level English OK! Because I fell short of the requirement, I was questioned endlessly about it by the interviewers in Comm Studies of NTU. How was I to remember which essay I wrote?? Bah. You think I care about your stupid course? You are not even my first choice. Well, maybe they heard my silent grumblings, I was sent back to Bizad, which happily, was what I had chosen in the first place.

Stop laughing at me. I was one of the top 100 best scorers in JC for 2 semesters out of the 6 that we took. Were you? Were you? Were you? I think not. So stop teasing me. I don't find it funny. Hear my heart break into a million pieces. Oh you can't. Beacuse it was already broken that spring in 2003.

Felinophobia Exacerbated

Having dinner on Saturday at a coffeeshop near my house when I felt something furry brushed past my right calf. I felt violated.

Why do sickening cats like to brush their bodies against people???? Some asked me if I was afraid of dogs, since they were furry too. NO! Cos dogs have the sense not to stick their bodies close to me. Bah. Bah. Bah.