Woes Of A Lefty

If you haven't noticed, I'm a lefty through and through.

Born a leftist lefty

Only approximately 10% of the world is sinistral like me. Being in the minority, we are constantly discriminated against. When I was little, I used to get angry at the injustice: Why do restaurants place chopsticks on the right? Why do my fingers hurt when I use the scissors? Why are door knobs on the left?

Anatomy of a lefty

(Yes yes, I'm "not even pretty" but this picture is the most appropriate for my purpose.)

Eternal complaints of southpaws

1. The PC mouse is placed on the right.
2. It is extremely cumbersome to use the highlighter.
3. A distance need to be kept from the companion on the left when we use chopsticks.
4. We can only keep to the left of the court when playing racket games doubles.
5. We risk getting clamped by the gantry at the train station because we take a little more time to tap our card on the scanner that is built on our right.
6. Writing is awkward, as the left hand is dragged over the text, resulting in smearing. The hand must also be held at an extreme angle to prevent it from covering up what was just written, causing cramping.
7. Utensils in restaurants are always placed for the right hander. We need to switch everything the other way. Imagine the trouble if we are sitting through a nine course dinner.
8. Writing calligraphy is a challenge to most of us. [Note: Contary to most southpaws, I write beautifully.]
9. We are not able to play the guitar.
10. It hurts our fingers to use the scissors.
11. It's a chore to use a can opener.
12. We risk losing our valuables when we wear sling bags because the opening of the zip is behind us when we subconsciously sling the bag to our left.
13. We can't adjust the knob on our watches if we wear the watches on our right hands. If we wear the watches on our left hand, the watches will be constantly knocked against tables, door frames, etc.
14. It is an acrobatic feat to twist our arms to unlock locks on our gates.

And many more...

Some disturbing facts

1. Left handedness is frowned upon by many cultures, for reasons ranging from Satanic influences to impoliteness.
2. Punishments for being left handed include divorce, beating, the offending hand being covered in boiling water.
3. Difficult or stressful births happen far more commonly among babies who grow up to be left-handed (Because my head was too big, I almost couldn't pop out the natural way i.e. birth stress).
4. The lifespans of lefties are likely to be shorter than right handers by as much as nine years because we are more likely to die in accidents as a result of our "affliction," which renders us clumsier and ill-equipped to survive in a right-handed world.
5. Studies have shown that there is a correlation between committing sexual crimes against children and being left-handed.

Last words

Because this is a right-handed world, I can't help being clumsier than a usual 22 year old. This is obvious when I try to open doors, walk through the gantries at train stations, especially when I am carrying more packages than I can. But after 21 years of conditioning, I have grown accustomed to how the world revolves around right-handed giants. On the other hand, being sinistral makes me feel special. Almost every new friend comments on my left handedness and believes that lefties are smarter and more creative ;)

左撇子万岁！

Source: 田宫知佳, 《衰神左撇子。》; Wiki/Left-handed