The Essential Handbook For The New Boyfriend

Congratulations on winning the heart of our very lovely sister.

However, the challenge does not end here. Brace yourself for the most intimidating hurdle -no, it is not meeting the parents; it is the interrogation ritual by the sisterhood.

The interrogation ritual is a gruelling cross-examination that all new boyfriends have to go through. Your personality will be tested and your background investigated. Basically, you will be grilled till you reveal all essential information that is needed to help us judge your character. You will need to use all the wit, charm and tact that you possess to gain our approval. DO NOT think that our approval is not required. Try ignoring our presence and your life will be made extremely miserable. Sounds alarming? Welcome to the sisterhood.

Due to the wave of excitement that you have stirred up in our little circle of love, a few members of the jury may appear overly enthusiastic during the interrogation. They may also ask a number of embarrassing questions. Understand that they only want the best for their friend, i.e. your girl, and you will be able to deal with it admirably.

Lesson #1: Recognising the interrogation ritual
Depending on which of us you are dating, you may or may not know in advance that you are about to go through the interrogation ritual. In case you have not been warned, here are a couple of tips:

1. It is the first time you are meeting your girl's girlfriends, i.e. us.
2. There will be a turnout of at least 70% of the girls, mainly to meet the new boyfriend, i.e. you.

This is the easy part - to recognise your looming challenge. The difficult part, of course, is facing the actual interrogation. But don't fret, the following lessons teach you how to be well prepared for it. You can be assured that you will only need to go through the interrogation ritual once. Pass it with flying colours and your girl is yours to keep. Until you start to mistreat her.

Lesson #2: Ten-Year Series
Apologies for the lack of a Ten-Year Series for your reference. After all, none of us have played the dating game for more than ten years. We do have a few standard questions, however. Spend a moment or two to think through them.

• Where do you study/work?
• How many siblings do you have?
• Where do you live?
• If you are working, how much do you earn?
• How did you win her heart?
• How many girlfriends have you had?

Consult your girlfriend for more.

Lesson #3: Members of the jury - 知己知彼，百战百胜
Some characters you may meet during the interrogation:

Head cross-examiner - gets excited easily; talks non-stop (sometimes she answers her own questions); teases mercilessly; angers easily. Charm her because she is the opinion leader.

Vice head cross-examiner - down-to-earth; friendly; exists to make sure the head examiner does not go overboard. She is one you should make the most effort to befriend as she is the most likely person to stand on your side (within reason) if you ever fight with your sweetheart.

Sherlock Holmes - intelligent; observant; asks the most unexpected questions. She will sniff out your lies, so beware.

Blur queen - perpetually lost; asks the most unexpected questions (not the kind that makes you nervous but the kind that makes you laugh); makes jokes that may have been funny ten minutes ago. Stifle your giggles and be patient with her.

Lesson #4: Ace the interview!

Do not just whisper to your girlfriend the whole time. Take the initiative to direct questions at the girls too. Make the interview an interactive one, not a one-way questioning.

Be proactive. Offer to help set up the BBQ pit, or wash the dishes. Chivalry scores in our community.

Do not make petty comments under ANY circumstance.

Dress appropriately and smell nice. Important! Make your princess proud.

Lesson #5: Last note
Rest assure that not all the pressure is on you. Your girl may be as frightened as you are, lest the sisters expose her most embarrassing secrets to you. Nonetheless, if you can put these lessons to practice, both of you should be able to emerge from the interrogation relatively unscathed. Lighten up and good luck!

By the way, if you ever mistreat our girl, BEWARE. Because copies of you will end up on our notice boards/dartboards with pins and thumbtacks sticking out of your head. Because we practise a little voodoo. Then misfortune will befall you.