Friday, February 11, 2005

The Xiaodong Syndrome

The Xiaodong syndrome seems to be inherent in the sons of my mother's family. A boy with this syndrome are extremely shy, to the extent that it gets irritating. But when they are among themselves, they snigger at the stupidest things.

As you know, we are supposed to greet our elders when we meet them. A boy with the Xiaodong syndrome will whisper "__ Auntie" and scoots off. Hey, you are almost 20 years old. Can't you show more guts when talking to the elders?

I once met one of them on the street. I went up to greet him. He said hi and scooted off in the opposite direction. I was left there alone, bewildered. What's up, man? Why are you even afraid of a younger cousin? Anyway, Xiaodong is not his real name. It's a nickname from goodness knows when. I don't why too. His real name is nowhere similar to Xiaodong. I named the Xiaodong syndrome after him because he is the ultimate representation of it.

I spotted the same syndrome in a neighbour's kid. He is 8 years old. He seems to have a more serious case of the Xiaodong syndrome. He doesn't even greet my parents when he sees them, just like his older brothers (how rude). I happened to share the lift with him and another neighbour's kid once. I smiled at them.

The other kid (to me): Hello.

The other kid (to him): You know who she is? She stays next to me.

At this, he turned to face the wall (!?!): No, she stays opposite you, not next to you.

I was baffled. Why must you turn to the wall? What are you so ashamed about that you can't face me? Oh, maybe you are the one who stole my shoes.

Kids with the Xiaodong syndrome are so not lovable. My future son will never be like them. God bless. My son is going to be bubbly and a little cheeky and gets the adoration of all the elders.