Friday, February 10, 2006

The Island The Joke

I was forced to watch it a second time during class today. It only made me remember that the whole movie is a big joke.

You know it's a Michael Bay film when you heard the exclamation, "Run!", no less than four times throughout the film, said the Straits Times when the movie was first released. I was very tickled by the statement because it made Michael Bay sound so shallow. Armageddon I enjoyed but Pearl Harbor was so shit I didn't want to watch another Bay film again. Unfortunately, I was convinced by Baby to watch The Island cos she said it was damn good.

We learn from Marketing that

Expectation"<"Actual Performance (or Perceived Value) = Satisfaction

Well, I went into the theatre with zero expectation, and still came out thinking it was shit. I just wanted to laugh at everything. Not 好笑 but 可笑. Damn I even spent $7 at Bedok Princess. It was not worth a single cent.

It has to be the worst career move for all the actors in it. Scarlett Johansson's sophistication level (thankfully acquired from Lost in Translation) hit rock bottom by acting as such a bimbo in such a commercialised film. The black guy who chased the two protagonists in the show was such a poseur. Ewan McGregor? As I watched him in the show, I could just imagine him following Ben Affleck's footsteps, ending up as a Gigglo Gigli.

The directing was outdated - overlong action sequences, aerial shots that like airline ads (contibuted by Minxiu), excessive explosions, the flowy drapes in the inevitable love scene. (Didn't Josh Harnett and Kate Beckingsale frolick amongst some drapes too?) And the unneccessary slow motion. I CAN'T stand the slow motion shots. How passe is that??

The plot, though interesting, was unconvincing. Everyone can't wait to go to The Island? Can't this supposed paradise have a more interesting name? How is it convincing that everywhere is so heavily guarded except the panels on the ceiling? I don't believe a couple will discern the ways of lovemaking during the first physical contact they have with members of the opposite sex. I also don't believe that the clone will have memories of the original. The excessive product placements in the show didn't help either.

I swear I will never watch a Michael Bay film again. Even if it's free. Just like you won't watch A Chinese Tall Story even if it's free.

By the way, its tagline on the posters is really amusing - You have been chosen. Ooo... Scary...

And speaking of taglines, nothing beats the tagline of The Cave -

Beneath Heaven

Lies Hell.

Beneath Hell lies

The Cave.

5 comments:

cinewhore said...

I have to disagree. The tagline I found on the poster for The Island at Lido was absolutely amazing:

PLAN YOUR ESCAPE

Appropriate, no?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/minxiu/25668051/

chowchow said...

Ok, this tagline is much much better. But I still dislike the film.

cinewhore said...

Oh I know, and I hate it too. But it makes the tagline so much more beautiful in its irony.

noel chow said...

i tot u might find cloning interesting?
the process of making and all?
and the possibility that the world might become like that?
and the behaviour of clones?
and how selfish human beings can be?
is it a duplicated life or a NEW life?

Im fascinated by all those hi-tech things in the movie!!
NOT BAD WHAT!!!!!!

chowchow said...

Didn't i say the concept of the movie was interesting? Just don't like the execution of it.