Irksome Colleagues

I don't have much time to ramble. So just to keep my page active, I decided to put up an article I wrote last July for the company I was attached to. In fact, I created the whole newsletter, but this is the one which I thought would be of interest to my friends. Perhaps it's a little cheesy. Well, I was trying to be funny. Hope it would be an interesting read for you.

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IRKSOME COLLEAGUES
You loathe them. You destest them. You wish to kill them. Unbearable colleagues exist everywhere. Here are some irritating colleagues* to serve as your dartboard during break today.
*Gender stereotypes not intended.

The Slacker
He sits as his desk surfing irrelevant websites. He takes frequent coffee breaks, taking forever to read the newspapers in the pantry. He flirts with the girls on the way back to his seat. Yet when you ask him to help lighten your workload, he claims that he has no time.

Because of his endless distractions at work, he can only achieve so much at work. In fact, he is so efficient that he takes hours to finish what you can do in half a day. The most infuriating is that the boss doesn't see him like this because he is expert at feigning busy.

The Highflyer
She has excellent qualifications that impress the bosses. She is so efficient that you feel like a tortoise compared to her. No matter how much work she has, she always looks immaculate. Everything she does is absolutely flawless.

The highflyer is one whom everyone loves to hate. It is probably not her fault that she performs well. In fact, you ought to be ashamed that you aren't like her, your boss says. But too bad, this is just the way you are.

The Bimbo
B-I-M-B-O. She can spell. No problem. But all else she talks about are cosmetics, her lovers and handsome movie stars. At work, she worries over minute details like the font color and alignment of the report. Although she is bubbly and sweet, she has no ambition whatsoever. You feel bored listening to her chatter.

It's not that you're not attractive, yet your male colleagues appear to fawn only over her. For all you know, she is only acting dumb. In view of the advantages she gets, it is perhaps worthwhile to behave just like her.


The Backstabber
Every morning, she greets you with a radiant smile. She appears to like you. She jokes with you. She is the regular jovial colleague whom everybody likes.

Little do you know; she watches your every move. She records the number of times you were late for work this month. She babbles little undesirable tales of you, behind you. Worst of all, she lifts your ideas and submits them before you, claiming all credit.


WATCH OUT.


The Bootlicker
You're disgusted by the sycophant. He gauffaws at all the boss' jokes. He compliments his mud brown tie with its horrendous yellow polka dots. You don't want to follow suit but you're afraid you will hence be marked down.


Unless you're prepared to behave like an obedient pet, you have to work doubly hard to gain recognition from you boss.


Alternatively, you can assume the role of the Backstabber (see The Backstabber) to get rid of him.


The Egoist
He thinks he's smart. He thinks he's special. He thinks he's eloquent.

He thinks he's slick. He thinks he's witty. He thinks he's chivalrous.

He thinks he's sauve. He thinks he's the man. He thinks he's above you.

He probably is all of the above. And there's nothing you can do to stop him from being smug about it.

The Geek
His toothy grin sends a shiver down your spine. He seems too enthusiatic about work. He hovers near your desk when you're chatting, hoping to get a word in. When he manages it, awkward silence befalls the group.

Try not to offend the geek. You'll never know what he is capable of.
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I have more in mind actually; e.g. The Blur Queen, The Act-blur Queen, etc... If I have the time...