Fergie Better Lift The Cup Next Week

My right ankle has grown to gargantuan proportions to celebrate Man U's triumphant season.

I wanted to don a Man U T-shirt when they lift the cup next weekend along pubs of Lan Kwai Fong. So after work on Tuesday, I trekked from Mohd Sultan to Tanglin, hoping to get something nice. Because there was no direct bus, the only sensible way to get there was to walk. It was a trecherous journey, with road works and eerie, overhanging branches infested with insects acting as obstacles.

Of course, I reached Tanglin to realise that the store has been replaced by a jewellery store. I jumped about in frustration about the wasted trip, as I was pespiring and panting more than slightly by the time I got there. I knew the Devil's Bar was closed, just didn't expect the merchandise store to close too. It must be a premonition to Man U's exit from the Champions League one day later.

On Friday, when I put on the same pair of pants that I wore on three days earlier, my right ankle started to itch and swell appallingly. I suspect a bug hid among the folds of my pants and lashed it poisonous teeth out at me on Friday. Now, the infected area not only itches, it's painful as well. If it aches anymore, I'm going to need crutches already. To make matters worse, I'm down with flu and cough, causing already chubby cheeks to puff up more.

And I'm supposed to go on holiday in a few days' time.