Just earlier today, the number of Smug Marrieds from my JC class has increased to a grand total of two. That’s more than ten percent of my class and it’s alarming me. Here I have, friends who are happily stepping into a lifetime of commitment, while the rest of us are reminded that marriage is now a possibility and an option. And for the record, we are only twenty-two.
It doesn’t help that friends are getting hooked up in record time. In just a week, I heard three of my friends being happily and smugly attached; all of them who were single for a really long time. And before that, was someone I sort of liked, who told me he just got together with a girl he really liked.
Don’t get me wrong. My heart goes out to them when they shared their happiness with me. I sincerely rejoice for them but they are making me feel jealous, depressed and deprived. 18 months ago, I could have sworn that a companion was not a need but a want and I would be able to lead a fabulous life without one. But if I have said that 18 months ago, I would have to eat my words today.
Because right now, (I hate to admit this) I’m feeling deprived, desperate, hua chi, whatever you call it. I will dearly love to have someone to hold my hand. Someone who is usually free to have brunch with me. Someone to cuddle up to during thunderstorms. Someone to share silly dreams with. Someone who chides me for not eating well. Well, just someone who cares.
It is so frustrating to see that there is no one worthy in sight. Come on, it’s been long enough. Screw you, Smugs (the Married and the Attached) for making me feel this way.
Okay sorry, I was kidding.
Hmm... Maybe I should have reached for the bouquet today. It was flying towards me and Louisa but we hesitated and it fell to the ground.
It doesn’t help that friends are getting hooked up in record time. In just a week, I heard three of my friends being happily and smugly attached; all of them who were single for a really long time. And before that, was someone I sort of liked, who told me he just got together with a girl he really liked.
Don’t get me wrong. My heart goes out to them when they shared their happiness with me. I sincerely rejoice for them but they are making me feel jealous, depressed and deprived. 18 months ago, I could have sworn that a companion was not a need but a want and I would be able to lead a fabulous life without one. But if I have said that 18 months ago, I would have to eat my words today.
Because right now, (I hate to admit this) I’m feeling deprived, desperate, hua chi, whatever you call it. I will dearly love to have someone to hold my hand. Someone who is usually free to have brunch with me. Someone to cuddle up to during thunderstorms. Someone to share silly dreams with. Someone who chides me for not eating well. Well, just someone who cares.
It is so frustrating to see that there is no one worthy in sight. Come on, it’s been long enough. Screw you, Smugs (the Married and the Attached) for making me feel this way.
Okay sorry, I was kidding.
Hmm... Maybe I should have reached for the bouquet today. It was flying towards me and Louisa but we hesitated and it fell to the ground.
1 comment:
Aw you poor thing...... Must be quite traumatising and pressurising.
"I've got pressure! You've got pressure!"
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