Saturday, March 25, 2006

The Fortune Teller Said

In the most mysterious fashion, my mum visited the fortune teller a few years ago without our knowledge. And she returned bursting with Heavenly secrets which I’m sure she did not reveal all of. These are some of things that the fortune teller predicted:

Don’t bother to try to reducing weight. You will only get fatter with age.
Poor mum. The only thing she can do is to maintain her current weight.

Each time you move, your house will be bigger than the previous one.
Cool. But my parents are neither lucky billionaires nor rich businessmen. I wonder how we can move from one big house to the next. Oooh, maybe an unexpected windfall is on the way!

You have two daughters. One of them is slim, the other one plump.
He didn’t know if the elder one or the younger one is slim. But he did know that one of us had to be plump in order for the other to be slim. Baby will have to wait for me to pile on the pounds before she can get rid of hers. This will not happen in the near future because I’m stubbornly eating less and exercising more. She hates me for it.

Your younger daughter will marry late, to a chieftain of some sort.
Translation: Baby will marry a much older man, a very rich much older man.

Your slim daughter is tall and pretty, like a model.
I know I’m not tall… *Sniggers*

She will have many suitors.
No lei, there is none in sight. Very soon, you may hear me start whining what Wanqing once did, “Eh… Seven months already… Why no one chase me? =( ”

She will be working overseas very often.
Yesh! I want. I can't wait to get this job.

She will get married after her third relationship.
Huh... I'm barely over my first one... And if I remembered correctly, I am supposed to marry a non-Singaporean. What I should do now is to get two more boyfriends quickly in succession, then I'll meet the one sooner.

You will be in charge of taking care of her children.
Cool. At least I won't be too old to have children.

Some people think that destiny is in their own hands. Sure you can make your own choices – you just have to pay for defying what has been planned for you. Like my mum, for example, the fortune teller told her she was supposed to marry a few years later than she did. And her punishment: she will leave us before my dad. Until now, he doesn’t know anything about it. Like me, if I stubbornly marry someone before my third relationship ends, I will end up divorced. Better be safe than sorry, eh.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

so in essence u're the main cause of ur sis not losing weight, cos u 2 have to be balanced rite.. :P o man..

anyway i'm already talking to hA1~reN on msn.. can email me ur msn contact if u want @ jkaiser.sg@gmail.com ;)

chowchow said...

Eh... yup. But shhhh.......
She will be pissed.

Anonymous said...

i don't see how such inane posts can justify the number of votes you got. I imagine you got lots of 'loyal' friends indeed. Oh come on, you aren't a celebrity. Who cares about your private life?

chowchow said...

Yawnz, another anonymous wimp huh. I have no interest in writing abt the NUS sch fee hike, the coming government election, the Commonwealth games, the terrorism acts in whichever part of the world, the bad english our lecturers have, Queen Liz and her ridiculous hat, etc. I admit that my writing is very self-oriented but I didn't start off with writing for nobodies like yourself. And I do not plan to accommodate you in any way. If you find my inane posts unappealing, you can bugger off.

Hurling abuse that will not benefit you in any way is about the most childish thing to do. I dun care, you see. In fact, I have the right to delete your comment. But I choose not to, so my friends can witness the immaturity of this anonymous wimp.

As for the number of votes, seriously, I have no idea who voted for me other than my few friends. It just proves that some people enjoy the inane writings of a nobody, doesn't it? You can't do anything about it. Besides, I'm not even in the lead. I don't know what you were angry about.

chowchow said...

Haha, you just made me realise annoucing that particular prediction was a mistake - no one will wanna be my number two now!

Hey people~ The predictions are just PREDICTIONS. Don't take them seriously lei...