Thursday, April 21, 2005

The Horror Flick

Why must horror flicks have names that begin with The? Perhaps that's the formula for box office breaking records, as claimed. If we were to come up with a horror script and name it like this, it might sell well too! Let's try.

The Scarf
Many decades ago, a jealous man casted a curse on a beautiful scarf. He gave it, as a goodbye gift, to the woman who left him for another man. Two days later, the woman was found at her home, strangled to death by her very own scarf!

Coming to today, a girl buys the same scarf from a vintage store. And the horrors unleash from here.

The Umbrella
Many decades ago, an umbrella maker so proud of his umbrella making skill decided to put a curse of one of his prized creations, to curse the others who treat his art with contempt. Anyone who mistreated the umbrella would be found trapped and suffocated in it days later.

Coming to today, an unsuspecting granny buys the same umbrella from a flea market. And the horrors unleash from here.

The Computer
Many decades ago... (Oops, computers don't usually date so far back. Let's try again.)

A few months ago, a factory worker was murdered on a computer assemble line in his factory. (We don't need to explain why he was killed.) His incensed soul was embedded into one of the computer chips.

Coming to today, a family buys the cursed computer. And the horrors unleash from here.

The Chewing Gum
Angry with the world, a witch casts a spell on all the chewing gum in the universe. People start chewing the cursed gum and die one by one. By none of them can stop chewing. Chewing and dying, chewing and dying.

All except Singaporeans. LKY appears on TV, in tears, and says, "I told you so."

The Horror Flick
Easy. It bores you to death.

Inspired by First Magazine (I forgot which issue.)

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Felinophobia (Fear of cats)

I hate cats, both neighbourhood or domesticated ones. My hair will stand on end when I see one near me. I will imagine that it's preparing to run at me any moment. I cannot bear the feeling of one brushing against my leg. Brr...

Once, I was at 85 with my family when a cat appeared behind. I didn't even see it. I only saw my sister's eyes widening in warning that I raised my legs and screamed. 10 tables turned around to look at me. And my family disowned me. We haven't been to 85 since. Boo...

I used to be so infatuated with a cute Malay guy that I considered wooing him. Until I remembered that Malays are generally fond of cats, and there's a high probability that they rear cats at home. What a pity.

I wonder when I started to be afraid of cats. I remember I used to protect my mum from them. Yes, my mum is felinophobic too. Perhaps it's under the influence of my mother that I began to think that cats were scary. Then, my fear was exacerbated by the protection of my boyfriend. With a hero around, I didn't have to be brave anymore.

Haha, that's why I am felinophobic.